Friend Cara runs a "loyalty test" on her friend's boyfriend after she was told not to, and calls her friend insecure when she gets called out

Author image for Etai Eshet
Etai Eshet • Editor
Mar 2, 2026 6:00 PM EST

If a "friend" treats your relationship like a lab experiment and your friendship like a free pass to try out psychological horror in real life, it's probably time to reconsider who gets to carry the title "your friend"

Because the type of people who like games like loyalty tests aren't really worried about faithfulness or fidelity, they are just addicted to the thrill of staging little crises and watching other people crash. 

Advertisement
  • Portrait of a young woman with long brown hair wearing a white blouse, softly lit by warm natural light as she looks back over her shoulder near sheer curtains.
    via liaden

    Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • AITJ for telling my friend she can’t “test” her boyfriend by flirting with mine?

    My friend "Cara" believes in "loyalty tests." she says if a man is truly faithful, he'll shut down any flirtation immediately.
    via StockPut7654
  • recently she told me she wanted to test her new boyfriend by having me dm him something suggestive.
    via StockPut7654

  • Cara is the kind of person who thinks relationships are performance reviews and everyone else is just extra cast. She wants proof that a boyfriend will pass whatever arbitrary test she designs, so instead of communicating with him, she decides to use someone else’s partner as a prop. First she tries to recruit the narrator to send a suggestive DM to her boyfriend, then she flips it and suggests she flirt with the narrator’s boyfriend. Both ideas are ridiculous, of course, the second one is basically a double dare disguised as relationship research. The fact that the narrator says no to both should be the end of the conversation, but it is not. It turns into a morality trial where the only acceptable answer is surrender, because in this universe saying “no” is treated as evidence of insecurity, not a boundary. 

  • i said absolutely not. then she suggested the reverse that she flirt with my boyfriend to prove he's loyal.
    via StockPut7654
  • i shut that down too. she got annoyed and said i must secretly think my boyfriend would fail, otherwise why not prove it?
    via StockPut7654
  • i told her healthy relationships don't involve mind games. she ended up messaging him anyway from a fake account.
    via StockPut7654
  • Close-up portrait of a smiling young woman with long brown hair lying down, wearing a white shirt and looking up toward the camera in warm natural light.
    via Lia Den

    Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • When Cara goes ahead anyway and messages the boyfriend from a fake account, she is not doing it to “test” him, she is doing it to justify her own behavior regardless of the outcome. If he reacts badly, she gets to feel validated. If he does not, she can tell herself she was right all along. The boyfriend showing the message to the narrator instantly undercuts the whole premise, because it proves the person who was actually being honest stepped outside the role she wrote for them. The confrontation is not dramatic, it is overdue. The narrator is not insecure, they are the one trying to keep their life from turning into a reality‑show script written by someone who confuses cruelty with curiosity. 

  • he showed me immediately. i confronted her and she said i'm overreacting because "it was hypothetical." i told her if she doesn't respect boundaries, i'm reconsidering the friendship.
    via StockPut7654
  • now she's telling people i'm insecure. AITJ for drawing that line? tl;dr: friend wanted to run a "loyalty test" by flirting with my boyfriend.
    via StockPut7654

  • The moment Cara decides other people are allowed to talk about her being “dramatic” instead of dealing with the fact that she crossed a line, she proves exactly why the loyalty‑test crowd is so dangerous. They do not want trust, they want traps. Healthy relationships do not rely on ambushes and fake accounts, they rely on people who can ask questions without weaponizing other people’s lives as props. Cara's friend is not the wrong one here, they are the one trying to keep the friendship from turning into a compatibility experiment funded by someone else’s trust.

  • i refused and got upset when she did it anyway, she says i'm dramatic.
    via StockPut7654
  • hushpetal_ the fact that she did it anyway after u said no wth that's the real red flag
    via StockPut7654
  • StockPut7654 Original Poster's Reply Thanks for pointing that out, exactly how i feel.
    via StockPut7654
  • Strong-Holiday4259 ur boyfriend passed without even being tested and your friend failed spectacularly if anyone's insecure it's the person who needs to manufacture drama to feel secure.
    via StockPut7654
  • StockPut7654 Original Poster's Reply Honestly so proud of him, he didn't even have to be tested and still showed he's solid while my friend went full chaos mode.
    via StockPut7654
  • misty-quill she's not testing him she's testing u and she failed
    via StockPut7654
  • noirazy_33 yeah anyone who thinks mind games are friendship material is toxic af
    via StockPut7654
  • Available-Peanut3294 Friendship shouldnt come with a loyalty test and a side of gaslighting
    via StockPut7654
  • babydtheone NTJ. What she did is very crazy and boundary crossing. She is not a true friend because a true friend would never do that after you asked them not too.
    via StockPut7654
  • Successful-Prize-850 Testing loyalty by flirting? That's toxic, not clever.
    via StockPut7654
  • Background_Edge_9427 "Friend"? With friends like that, you don't need enemies. I think I would put some distance between yourself and this "friend".
    via StockPut7654
  • GoldenAngeli She is literally doing this out of insecurity that her boyfriend might not be loyal. You don't want this because you don't have any insecurity, plus it's just a wildly immature thing to do. If my partner would come up with this idea and test me, I'd get mad and would feel pretty hurt. A healthy relationship requires open communication, not testing partners through a fake account. Your friend needs therapy and I would cut ties with her if she doesn't seem to improve her mindset.
    via StockPut7654
  • iwannasayyoucantmake No ages given, but what is she 15? So very immature and insecure to test relationships with infidelity temptation. Get off TikTok, grow up, learn to respect others or not I don't care but quit messing around with others.
    via StockPut7654

Want More? Follow Us and Add Us as a Preferred Source on Google.

Tags

boyfriend friendship dating fails bad friend friends relationships girlfriend mean girls advice red flags red flag dating
Scroll Down For The Next Article